bama-less pre-turkey day weekend

well again, i get to take the weekend off from any football stress this weekend with the tide having the off week, and it is really only an average week of college football. the girlfriend has some kind of spa crap going on tomorrow morning, so i'll have plenty of peace and quiet to enjoy gameday and the early games, including ohio state/michigan @ 11am. after that i will be taking in the lsu/ole miss game. i will however have to duck out at around halftime, b/c at damn near 30 years old, i will be attending my very first couples shower. save all the comments about how gay i am...i already know. so anyways, i will absolutely be back on the couch in time to take in the game of the week live from norman, ok. before i do any of this, i will be meeting up with my old roomie from my freshman year of college to knock down some food and booze. i haven't seen this dude since may of '98 and he's passing through the area on business. should be good times.

since its a bye week, you will not be subjected to the good luck charm, and we will revert back to the offseason friday formula of badass music in the form of you tubeage. today we take a look back at gerry's formative years in music. as a youngster i was heavily influenced by the musical tastes of my older siblings (the last dragon for one), and those tastes were primarily composed of 80's hair bands. poison and guns n' roses were probably my favorites, and to be honest i had no business listening to either given my age. that all changed in 1992. no, not nirvana. they had come along a year earlier and although i grew to appreciate their work, at the time i was only moderately on board. the song (and its video) that truly helped me find my own musical path was pearl jam's "even flow." me and my buddies used to imitate eddie vedder's insane stage dive from the top of the waterslide into the pool. to this day the greatest concert i've ever been to was pearl jam at tad gorley stadium (new orleans) in september of '95. on top of pearl jam kicking ass in a cool venue, and the fact that they were at their peak (in my opinion their first 3 albums were their best), it was extra special b/c this was back when pearl jam was boycotting ticketmaster and getting tickets was no easy task. not to mention a little band called the ramones opened for them. here is footage from that very show of pearl jam doing the punk classic "sonic reducer" with joey ramone. but the song that started it all for me...was "even flow."

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great moments in red raider history

in honor of the biggest game of the week, i thought we'd have a little red raider/sooner fun. the red raider fan is a unique one. they are both harmless and ridiculously obnoxious at the same time. they have a large contingent of drunken degenerates, yet are generally content with a certain amount of losing and therefore are surprisingly pleasant and realistic about the amazing run they are on. since moving to texas i have always supported red raider b/c the 'horns and aggies of the world always treat them as little brother. to some degree i feel tech has accepted this role if for no other reason than it only pisses the big boys off even more when they lose to said little brother. find a 'horn or aggie fan and they will likely tell you that they'd rather lose to their historical rival (each other), as opposed to their "little brother." observe a raider fan rubbing the sooners' nose in a loss in lubbock in '05. "the big 12 refs tried to rip us off...but we won anyway!!!"

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ramblin' wreck indeed

i don't normally talk too much about these weeknight games, but two things were different about this week. a) bama is off so that opens up my friday morning post. b)the world wide leader actually put an interesting game on during the week. first of all i love watching georgia tech's offense. i love watching the triple option anyway, but its especially interesting being run full time in a bcs conference. tailback jonathan dwyer rolled for 128 yards on 10 carries and 2 td's without so much as a single carry in the second half. dwyer is a studly combination of power and speed and is running away with the acc rushing title. as a team the jackets racked up 472 yards on 56 carries for 8.4 yards a carry. all of this against those proud boys from da u. passing game you ask?? 4 of 7 for 46 yards as a team...but that's not really necessary is it?? keep in mind this is the first year for paul johnson and his offense at georgia tech. can you imagine in a few years when johnson is able to recruit players specifically for this system and the players are able to truly master the intricacies.

as a side note, i really enjoy the thursday night crew of fowler, the bachelor, craig james, erin andrews. they really seem to be enjoying themselves and therefore i enjoy listening. fowler mentioned at some point how much he liked georgia tech's fight song. i was not familiar with it at the time, but i'm always intrigued by fight songs, so i researched it...and by research i mean you tube. i'm not gonna say it ranks up there with the greats, but in terms of pure lyrical content its way up there and is clearly one of the most underrated. listen up.

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i want money...lots and lots of money

as with last bye week, with no bama game to really discuss, i will give my lead pipe locks of the week. so far this year the win percentage is .554 (117/215 with a few pushes in there) on my top 25 picks. which isn't amazing, but many would kill for it. once again, all sec games (couldn't find a line on florida anywhere) plus the game of the week. now go take out a second mortgage so you can be like your boy richie rich.

all times central.

-tennessee +3.5 @ vandy 11:30am (jp) - the whole world is thinking vandy is FINALLY going to handle up on the vols...which i why i think just the opposite. the total on this game is only 37. get your popcorn ready.

-arkansas -1.5 @ mississippi state 1:30 pm - i think this line would be a lot bigger except petrino is unsure as to which dick will start at qb. state can't score. i don't have anything to add to that...they just can't score.

-ole miss +4 @ lsu 2:30pm (cbs) - i think ole miss is going to win this game straight up. the rebs are red hot and despite 30 points in the 4th quarter last week, i think the tigahs are shell shocked.

-texas tech +7 @ oklahoma 7pm (abc) - i actually think the sooners will win this game, but i'll take texas tech +7 vs. damn near anyone. for bonus money, the total is 77 and that ain't near enough points. take the over.

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love thy...potential future enemies??

look, i'm a realist. i don't have a great deal of confidence bama will make it out of atlanta alive, but i've seen a lot stranger things in college football. however, should they somehow find a way to make it out of atlanta alive, this could very likely be a preview of a future "love thine enemy." plus, let's face it, i'd have a revolt on my hands if i didn't put up some thursday morning eye candy. enjoy.


click here to remove those pesky logos...as well as here.

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bye week uselessness: search engine fun

well once again bye week sends me scurrying for topics. i figured this would be as good a time as any to bring back "the wacky ways people find uncle rico." this is where we review the bizzare search terms that bring people to the site and what they find for their trouble.

-"ugliest blazer in the world" - ugliest blazer competition - well they must have looked pretty damn hard b/c i couldn't even track down this result on like the first 10 pages of results.

-"super rape machine" - rape, murder, arson, rape - sometimes i'm ashamed to even be associated with this blog.

-"wesley caroll muay thai" - homepage - this one simply led to the homepage, which i can only assume had wesley carroll mention on it at the time. is state's now 3rd string qb also a muay thai badass?? will we see him in the octagon after he graduates??

-"charles grant jambalaya recipe" - june 2008 archive - this search pulled up a page from the archives as opposed to a specific post. the archive page contained both the phrase "charles grant" and "jambalaya recipe" though the two were not used together. we are proud to be the second overall result for any search though.

-"corso checking to see if rashad johnson was in bounds" - c/w roundtable-lsu hate week - number 1 result baby!! the only problem is corso never checked to see if rashad was in bounds...it was jpw's run against lsu that was called back for holding. fast forward to the 4:25 to see what i assume this person was searching for.

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my bank account goes boom muthafucka!!

breaking news out of austin is that defensive coordinator will muschamp has received a signficant raise, and been given the jimbo fisher treatment. beginning january 1, muschamp's salary will increase to $900k (wow), and he will succeed mack brown as head coach whenever he sees it time to retire. sounds like a really big committment to a somewhat unknown entity. makes me think some big dogs must have come sniffin' around and texas panicked. i got $20 that says this plan does not work out as planned.

that's levitation holmes

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bowl projection nonsense

i always find myself grasping at straws during a bye week. as much as i hate it, and as useless as i think it is, i can't help but keep an eye on espn's weekly bowl projections. its pretty interesting to go back and look at each weeks projections, particularly for a team like alabama that has come so far in the rankings. every week two "experts" (mark schlabach/bruce feldman) give their side by side projections. take a gander.

-preseason:
papa johns.com vs rutgers/peach vs. va tech
-week 1: (beat clemson's ass)
outback vs. wisconsin/capital one vs. wisconsin
-week 2: (struggled with tulane)
outback vs. illinois/capital one vs. wisconsin
-week 3: (rolled western kentucky)
outback vs. wisconsin/capital one vs. ohio state
-week 4: (rolled arkansas)
cotton vs. texas/capital one vs. ohio state
-week 5: (shocked uga)
bcs title game vs. oklahoma/bcs title game vs. mizzou
-week 6: (stuggled with kentucky)
sugar vs. byu/bcs title game vs. mizzou
-week 7: (bye week)
bcs title game vs. texas/bcs title game vs. texas
-week 8: (beat ole miss)
sugar vs. utah/sugar vs. boise state
-week 9: (spanked tennessee)
sugar vs. utah/sugar vs. boise state
-week 10: (whipped arkansas state)
sugar vs. texas/sugar vs. boise state
-week 11: (squeak by lsu)
sugar vs. pitt/sugar vs. boise state
-week 12: (spanked miss. state)
sugar vs. utah/sugar vs. usc

a couple of points. first, could these guys be more bandwagon?? a big win over clemson?? new year's day bowl game. shock uga?? bcs title game!! idiots. secondly, it appears to be shaping up very poorly for the tide. i love the sugar bowl, but i'm going to be extremely pissed if the tide gets matched up with one of the "bcs busters," i.e. utah or boise. this is something i frequently refer to as the "old man fight." that is, when you're a young buck, getting into a fight with an old man is a lose/lose proposition. if you beat his ass, all you accomplished was whipping an old man's ass. and god forbid you get the hell beat out of you by the old man...you'll never live it down. i support the sugar bowl, but for the love of god can bama get a bcs opponent?!?

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quick hits: mass quantities of suck

this blog has been all bama football all the time over the last 3 months, and for good reason. the only problem is that means less of all other sports and that includes the teams i love to follow. only problem is most of the teams i follow are sucking right now. here's a look at some of suck.

-first a team i don't care about sucking, da 'cuse, making a move nobody is surprised by in firing coach greg robinson. 9-35 (3-25 big east) will do that to you. personally i can't believe the guy was even brought back this year.

-one more note of suck not about one of my teams...and i really feel there should be more outrage about this. did you see the fucking tragedy of a uniform (see here, here, and here) oregon actually wore in public this weekend?? we spoke of rumors about black helmets (are those black or dark green??) in our preseason uni review, but nobody could have forseen such horrible jerseys. really?? wings??

-now on to my teams. bama hoops sucks already. they lost their season opener last night to mercer. MERCER?! from the glass is half full department, ronald steele came back from not playing last year to drop 25pts (5-11 3pt), and true frosh stud jamychal green went for 17 and 12 in his debut. the tide will return for another barn burner on wednesday night when they host florida a&m, that of college gameday fame.

-it may be strong to say the saints suck given that they are 5-5, but with only 6 games remaining, they are 2 games out of first in their division, and have lost to every team they've played that is worth a shit (save for week 1). their last 6 games are against 5 teams in the playoff hunt and the lions. they might want to think about getting hot like...ummm now.

-and now, for the greatest of all sucks, the dallas sports scene. with a win last night, the cowboys probably escape the suck label for now (not that i care), however they are still of the brink and given preseason expectations still suck relatively speaking. more suck comes in the way of the stars. the team that took the eventual stanley cup champ red wings to 6 games in the conference finals last year has jumped out to a 6-8-3 start with largely the same roster. very nice. and then there is the mavs. 3 years ago...nba finals. two years ago...67 wins. last year...first round exit and the horrible jason kidd trade. this year...a 3 and 7 start. dallas...slowly becoming a black hole of sports.

ownage galore

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monday you tube analysis: mississippi state

the tide just keeps chipping away. they slowly chipped away at the bulldogs on saturday night, and they are slowly chipping away at their season long dream. the tide had only two brain farts defensively, and they just happened to both be on the same drive resulting in the only points of the night for the bulldogs. the tide held state to 167 yards (78 on that one drive), 9 first downs, 2-12 on 3rd down, and 35 rushing yards. after that first touchdown, i never felt state would threaten to get anything more than a field goal. on offense the tide was less than spectacular, but i also didn't feel they tried to do a whole helluva lot after javy arenas gave them 14 points. always nice to get the reserves in for mop up duty as well. on the final drive (that ate up about 7 minutes) greg mcelroy goes 2/2 for 18 yards, freshman hoss jeramie griffin looked good racking up 27 yards on 5 carries, and fellow freshman demetrius goode gets 2 carries for 3 yards. all in all, a dominating if not overly impressive performance. the tide and auburn both take next saturday off before squaring off in the iron bowl on 11/29. throw the records out the window and all that bs.

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week in pics: holy boring

the aggie nightmare continues
a crap filled crap fest
just so you know, jimmy clausen threw this pass
don't mind us, we're just hangin' 50 on someone...again
its like nobody even wants to go to the acc championship
see...its like nobody even wants to go to the acc championship
not as impressive as the other one loss studs
bowl eligible bitches!!
tiger stadium on a saturday night: feel the intimidation!!
ummm...you might wanna kick away from javy

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tide get ready to roll!!

well once again the tide should not need luck to come away with a win this week, but he who breaks tradition ends up sad.

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i don't give a shit...AIGHT!?!

nobody does bullshit "hey coach" type shows like the saban. don't believe me?? go to about the 2:50 mark and let the saban make you feel like a 16 year old who just brought home an "f"...including dropping an s-bomb on you. love this guy.

HT:friends of the program

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mississippi state weekend forecast: sunny and beautiful with a slight chance of isolated showers

now he just looks like clarence thomas (HT: the wiz)
tuscaloosa's native son sly croom returns to t-town once again. this year he returns with a two game winning streak against the tide, but struggling mightily. the bulldogs enter the game 11th is scoring offense (.1 per game over vols or they'd be dead last), however they are 8th in scoring defense at 21.2 ppg. that being said, i feel that those stats don't tell the whole story given that they are on the field all fucking day and given short fields thanks to they're brutal offense. more stats that speak to that is the fact that they are 11th in rushing defense and 1st in pass defense. that tells me that teams are kicking their ass by halftime and running the ball the rest of the way. anthony dixon is a very solid rb who is being wasted on an offense facing that has been going against 8 man fronts all year. they also have a decent wr in brandon mcrae, but nobody can get him the ball consistently. the passing game does seem to be much improved (relatively speaking) since tyson lee took over. in losing to la tech, getting rolled by ga tech, and getting their ass beat by fellow sec cellar dwellar tennessee, state has been the embarrassment of the conference this year. i just really feel like state plays right into bama's hands...run the ball, stop the run, and put the ball in tyson lee's hands. i just can't possibly see state scoring more than 10 points given the play of the tide's defense.

bama 30
state 10

they've got a fevah

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raise your hand if you're sleeping in on saturday

am i the only one who just found out where college gameday is going this week?? are you fucking serious?? i'd rather you just do it from a studio up in bristol.

meac power bitches!!

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love thine enemy: mississippi state

click if you think its naked time

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pure, unbridled, teeth clinching, nose bleeding hatred

that's what you'll see if you tune into cbs this saturday at 2:30 cst, or more importantly, if you happen to be in the gainesville area this weekend. you see that's when steve spurrier returns to gainesville as the head coach of the south carolina gamecocks to take on his former team the florida gators. why the hate?? well spurrier had the audacity to take their middling program to heights not seen in years. he brought them multiple sec championships, as well as one national championship. then you know what he did?? he attempted to further his career and take on a new challenge via the nfl. well this was NOT what gator fans wanted. for spurrier to do something for himself that might not be in the best interest of the gator fanbase is completely unforgivable. the icing on the shithead cake is that upon realizing that the nfl was not all that its cracked up to be, he had the nerve to not only come back to the sec...but IN THE SAME DIVISION!! well the gator faithful are going to make sure spurrier knows how they feel about him. numerous billboards around gainesville are promoting a "beat south carolina bonfire" at which they will burn a likeness of spurrier. this is just the tip of the iceberg when you consider the numerous websites and t shirts being produced with such intelligent and creative themes as "spurrier is a douche" and "fuck spurrier." and finally there will be little relief as he takes the field on saturday when the insults and profanities will rain down on him for 4 quarters. hell, i just hope spurrier can make it out of gainesville unharmed.

actually, none of this shit is going to happen, though it does sound eerily familiar. oh wait, that's exactly what's been going on between lsu and nick saban. so why won't this happen to spurrier?? i guess a shocking percentage of gator fans aren't fucking idiots.

making gator fans look like rocket scientists

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pour a little fuel on the fire

i'm just not feelin' it today. between getting past the lsu game, and looking ahead to an uninspiring state game, i got nothin'. so let's get inspired.

2007

2006
>

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celebrate veteran's day ya damned ingrate

a big thanks to any and all veterans out there from uncle rico. a holiday that doesn't get enough love b/c most of us dumbasses don't even get the day off of work. then again, even if we did we'd probably blow it off and go get drunk and watch football games or some such. poor holiday that's looking for respect...you just can't win.

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quick hits: boom goes the dynamite

-in case you're not aware yet, the bama/state game was actually picked up for the 6:45 cst espn game. kinda surprising, and it doesn't speak very highly for the rest of the sec slate this week, including no tv for auburn/uga. also, alabama is not having a problem finding motivation for the state game.

-coming as a surprise to exactly noone who watched the game on saturday, much of the talk in baton rouge on monday revolved around backup qb jordan jefferson. while jefferson isn't expected to start anytime soon, he will be getting a lot more meaningful snaps in the upcoming weeks.

-is there anything more bush league than lsu fans blowing up opponents cell phones the week of the game?? obviously they got to jpw's last week and it resulted in a chickenshit unsportsmanlike call after jpw's first rushing td. for those keeping score, the tigahs are 0-2 this year when pulling this stunt (they blew up knowshon and aj green), and they barely beat gators last year after blowing up tebow. maybe you could do something a little more constructive with your time tigah fan.

-sec awards handed out yesterday, and two tiders were given awards. rashad johnson and his 3 interceptions was named sec defensive player of the week, and julio jones and his 7 catches for 128 tough yards were named sec freshman of the week. julio quietly earned a second award yesterday as he took over the vacated (yet coveted) "uncle rico's official mancrush." congrats to all.

-i had a amazing time in baton rouge this weekend. good friends, good food, lotsa boozin', and the tide was victorious. there was only one thing i was upset about from this weekend....i missed a live implosion. i've been keeping an eye on this abandoned hotel right by my apartment as they've prepared it for demolition. at first i just assumed they were going to wrecking ball it, but the further they went, it became clear they were going to implode it. finally, last thursday i found out that they were going to implode it on sunday morning at 8 am while i was out of town. heartbroken is an understatement. i literally could have watched this thing from my apartment complex. check it out.

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